Special Guest

Recently, someone informed me interns are generally not invited to the Mercy Connections quarterly board meeting and the monthly all-staff meetings. However, Jo and Dolly extended a special and welcoming invitation for me to attend and participate in both the November 13th MC Board Meeting and the November 21st MC Staff Meeting. Jo and Dolly continue to be wonderfully dedicated to my development as a leader and professional; I shelved my insecurities for receiving the special privilege and chose only to appreciate the unique opportunities.

I currently volunteer as the minutes-taker for the City Market Cooperative Grocery Store Board, and I've attended a lifetime's worth of staff meetings. But I found myself yet again in uncharted territories. Mercy continues to deliver on turning the usual and mundane into a light-filled, warm, and wonderful learning experience for me [and I am sure all who attend, as well].

The Board Meeting

John Bossange
Chair of the Mercy Connections Board
Educational Consultant/Mentor
Retired Career School Principal

I can't imagine many board meetings open with a community member/special guest playing their
guitar, and singing a song they wrote about their personal experiences, joys, and appreciation for the host organization. The opening was brilliant - the room was full of volunteer professionals who walked in from their various demanding workplaces visibly allowed themselves to shed their workplace thoughts and outside feelings and truly arrive; we all embraced the safe and joyous energy, which appears to be a constant at the organization we serve.

There was applause and a quick catch up - people laughing and fully arriving in the space. What felt like 30 minutes of easing into a meeting was merely five before the chair got business moving with the agenda review, highlighting an important item at the end of the agenda. The chair shared how he fears tacking something at the end might make it expendable if meeting items were to run over, but invited everyone to work toward staying on time - holding the breakout mission/visioning session as a carrot at the end of a driven meeting.

This was my first Board meeting/large group meeting where I saw the powerful application of subcommittees - how subcommittees can make a meeting a much more valuable use of people's time. This board meets only quarterly with subcommittees of 4-5 people meeting in between. As someone who does a lot of work in scheduling, this is incredibly appealing. Getting 4 or 5 high-powered individuals together is more feasible than 15-20 individuals. I witness many leaders and departments work to find the exact time for a regular mandatory meeting and inevitably inconvenience one or more people demanding they make a time that does not work for their schedule.

Each subcommittee had prepared report outs, had clearly met to address their tasks and develop next steps, and each groups' success were individually celebrated. Moreover, group leaders used the opportunity to share one or two challenges, thereby accessing the power of the group together to advise and brainstorm. The chair hardly had to remind people to move along - no one hung on to their spotlight for more than the other groups; everyone was respectful of their time.

This board covered more content in a 1.5hr quarterly meeting than I've seen covered over the course of four of our 1-hour monthly departmental meetings. I witness the power and effectiveness of a thoughtful agenda, a solid opening from a chair/leader, and the work of dedicated subcommittees.

Mercy Connections Staff Monthly Meeting

Dolly approached me after the Mercy Connections staff meeting and asked what I thought. All I could say was, "The staff spoke a lot more than I am accustomed to." Dolly set the agenda and then merely facilitated the group of individuals at the staff meeting. Content was driven by her staff and she merely steered the ship or provided one sentence reminders to move things long when an individual went to long on their item.

The meeting had a nice blend of feel good sharing and business items. Each person on the team received space to share an accomplishment and then Dolly asked if there was anything they could use from the group. Again, I saw the incredible power behind a well-facilitated meeting. To keep people moving while maintaining a general atmosphere of respect and support is truly a delicate balance. I listened to Dolly's mindful attempts to gently apply her position of power for the benefit of the group ("let's remember to be mindful of time" or "we need to keep things moving if we wish to end on time"), while also trying to ensure people continue to feel respected and heard.

From personal experience, as soon as a meeting becomes comfortable, the team falls into existential conversations, discussing big picture issues and frustrations without developing concrete actions within their control. This has been an ongoing observed challenge in my own team's work, at the College of Medicine. However, with Dolly's prompts and guidance, I witnessed an incredible amount of content covered and exchanged within an hour.

Perhaps working in a small non-profit, there is a greater awareness of the preciousness of an individual's time? I want to believe it is a culture you can nurture and continue to support no matter the size or funding. I would like to think Mercy Connections could grow and still maintain the ability to hold such effective and efficient meetings that are intermingled with human moments and heart...

I Appreciate You.

Tiny messages of appreciation are so important - precious and meaningful.

After Kieran, Jo, and I met to discuss my internship proposal, a quick one sentence email from Jo...

Begin forwarded message: 

From: Joanne Nelson <jnelson@mercyconnections.org>

Subject: Re: Today's Internship Site Visit/Launch Meeting

Date: October 9, 2017 at 4:31:39 PM EDT

To: Kieran Killeen 

Cc: Kiersten Hallquist 

Thank you for our meeting today!

Jo

Sent from my iPhone

A brief email from Dolly, following our Harvest Dinner event...

Begin forwarded message:

From: Dolly Fleming <dfleming@mercyconnections.org>

Subject: Thank you

Date: November 8, 2017 at 8:02:40 PM EST

To: Joanne Nelson, Kelly Moran, Heather Gilbert, Kiersten Hallquist

What a crew along with some other amazing volunteers, mentors, crcf staff. Thank you for such careful planning. It was a positive  harvest dinner and evening. Thank you for hanging in till the very end and putting our facility back in order. You are all a blessing and delight.

Blessings,

Dolly Fleming

Executive Director

Mercy Connections

802-846-7062

dfleming@mercyconnections.org

I can tell this is second nature for them. Each time I receive one, it causes a small smile at the corner of my mouth. A small [maybe damaged] part of me is waiting for this appreciation, positive support, and "radical hospitality" to get hokey or old. Yet, I can tell by the people around me here that it doesn't; I can tell deep down that it won't. 

Soul Food

In the preparations leading up to the annual Vermont Women's Mentoring Program Harvest Dinner event, I began to observe and learn more about Jo's leadership style and influences. She shared she had an experience in catering and the food and beverage industry as we met with the office manager, Darrell, to discuss food shopping lists and prep schedules. Here is a woman, running a program existing in both the state and non-profit worlds, and she's not only planning a food event, but also preparing to be the primary person in the kitchen.

Unfortunately, I've fallen into belittling myself in what I currently do and my previous work experience. I was top of my class in high school, I received a bachelor's degree from Dartmouth College (an ivy league institution), and I've worked in the states as a waitress and office administrator. I plan events for the College of Medicine and manage a dean's schedule. 

However, listening to Jo share her background working in catering, helped me appreciate where I am right now and where I see promise of where I will be in the future. I have to remember to tell myself one of the mantras I often share with friends when they are in this place of self-doubt: "You are exactly where you are supposed to be." Every experience, every meeting I've scheduled, catering order I've placed, and event with pro-cat-herding involved has shaped me into the unique person and employee I am today. It has fed me and my expertise in some unique way. 

I was able to fire out professional-looking name badges for the Harvest Dinner in under 20 minutes because of my incredible, life-changing discovery of mail merge as a student services coordinator last year (I had to send emails to a number of scholarship recipients and my boss requested they be personalized - "there must be SOME way to do this more efficiently than one email at time" and Google helped me learn that there was). As people arrived, my experience in event facilitating allowed me to welcome new faces comfortably and with authentic joy. I've gained a certain set of tools thus far and continue to gain more as I work at Mercy. In what I've gained in hands-on, tangible office administrator skills at my student services job, I am gaining in spiritual and philosophical development in the halls and meetings spaces of 255 S. Champlain.

The event itself was a wonderful blur. While we ran full-hilt with prep, execution, and clean-up from 3pm - 8pm, I felt like it went by in a blink of an eye. 54 people were in attendance - perhaps the most in the history of the program? I was thrilled to finally meet the group of active mentors and mentees and some of the mentees' families for the first time; I was finally face-to-face with the people we serve everyday. 

The one moment everything slowed down was toward the end of the night. I found myself at a table with two mentors and three mentees. None were pairs - we were all getting to know each other. The mentees shared about their children and where they are in the process of getting solid and secure employment. One of them had seven children and was also working to turn their story into something that can be used to help others - traveling the state and telling how she moved from what was going to be a life of repeated incarceration to one of hope, self-respect, and promise. I was in absolute awe by what the women were sharing about their lives and experiences. I discovered that the two mentors sitting with us were mother and daughter; they had discovered the program and trained together. Then the conversation turned to me: "How was the internship going? What was I finding the most interesting?" 

Perhaps it was the incredible home-cooked Thanksgiving Dinner I just had in my "workplace" or the fun Jenga game I just played with some incredibly wise kids who clearly handle more than the average kid their age, or it was just he beautiful conversation I was having at that very moment, but I felt clarity. I shared with the women around me how I was quickly learning that Mercy Connections is a special place. It creates a space that truly feels safe. I hadn't felt the energy since my undergraduate experience and had missed it for the decade since I'd been on the Dartmouth Campus. I often share my sadness having missed the respectful learning community, where response to difference wasn't emotional outbursts or anger to shut people down - where people could have peaceful and productive educational dialogue. 

At Mercy, there is this understanding of mutual respect, appreciation, and love. People share and know they are being heard and what they are saying is being valued. I share and listen. Mercy Connections creates a space where incredibly disparate people come together and are not struggling through differences or finding ways to avoid them/ignore them to move forward; people are learning and educating as authentic selves. We all work with open minds, constantly learning from others while also knowing we are teachers. 

The mentors and mentees nodded around the table. Tight now, I smile reliving the moment in my head. It was as if I had said, "Can I get an amen?" "Amen, sister. Amen." We all held it for a second, that knowing, and that sharing in the gift...

UVM Women's Forum - Intersectional Feminism

Week of October 30, 2017:

I was incredibly privileged to receive permission from my supervisors to attend the 2017 UVM Women's Summit. On Thursday, November 2, I joined over 100 women from the UVM and greater Vermont community in the Davis Center to listen to an insightful and experienced keynote speaker and two mindfully well-designed panels. The focus of the conference was on "Intersectional Feminism."

Topics included gender inequality in politics, tenure career pathways and equity, the multigenerational environment, and how sexism can be normalized in the workplace. The speakers were incredible and I couldn't keep up jotting down inspirational and brilliant quotes:

• You can’t make change quietly and you can’t care whether people like you… be resilient, be bold, be courageous, work hard… it requires a lot of hard work. ~ Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Director of Spellman College’s Women’s Center
• 90% of black women voted for Hillary – they knew who to vote for… 54% of white women voted for our ‘predator in chief’… this was about race... how do we get women to have an intersectional lens? ~ Dr. Guy-Sheftall
• Assume or know that everything you say has assigned meaning you never get to explain. ~ Dr. Angela E. Batista, Interim Vice President of Student Life and Special Assistant to the President for Diversity and Inclusion, Champlain College
• It’s not that I wear the hijab to spite them; I wear it despite them… There is an audaciousness women cover for men. ~ Nevien Shaabneh, novelist, public speaker and educator
• A need for intentional space to have the difficult conversations… we need to break down the silos and begin to work across groups. ~ Dr. David Nestor, Dean of Students, University of Vermont (the one and only male speaker)

I struggled to hold onto the spirit of each of us being ambassadors and the sense that the issues were too big for little me,  and too engrained in society and politics. During the lunch-hour discussion circles we tackled this as a topic. I asked the question I was struggling with the most: "How do I take all of the powerful, honest, and profound topics highlighted during the conference back to a five-minute presentation at my next monthly departmental meeting? How do we become ambassadors of the topics and issues presented and discussed in our own workplace and social environments?"

We landed with the final statement from Dr. Nestor above: the need to create space for the challenging conversations, the need for space to explore our own internal biases and their roots. Women all over the world proudly share they are feminists and suffer under the patriarchy, however, they often fail to recognize their continued contributions to racism and anti-semitism. The overall message of the conference is to help these social challenges collide and explore how we tackle the issues together.

I still waiver between defeatism and going powerfully into the fray. If I could do it again, I would try to enter the space more solution-oriented, and explore hands-on ways myself and the colleagues in my circle might begin to share and support the messages we were hearing and embracing...

"How Does Anything Get Done Around Here?" - An RFP Review Experience

A week or two ago, I was fighting a little voice in my head screaming for productivity - to crank through a task list. I was wondering how anyone gets anything done in a place like Mercy - a place where "priority #1 is the encounter" as Jo puts it.

Yet, on October 18th, Jo, Kelly and I sat down to informally discuss the potential to pursue an RFP with VT Judiciary, hosting the Guardian ad Litem (GALs) program. I was sent home with the task of reviewing the materials and addressing Dolly's questions (see October 24 post). I provided my notes to the team and then headed to New Orleans, LA for a family vacation and wedding.

Jo was able to thoroughly debrief me when I returned. She shared how, after a careful review, Mercy landed much in the same place I did - the program did not align to Mercy's mission and the timing was not right for Mercy to expand in that direction. However, Jo shared this was not a decision made lightly. Jo and Kelly carefully reviewed my notes, Jo discussed them in depth with Dolly (Mercy ED) with her own contributions, and a board chair was also looped into the conversation.

In the few days I was away, four people, including two high-ranking individuals in the institution had carefully reviewed and considered our input on the program and decision was reached. When decisions are necessary, I learned the people of Mercy are moved into action efficiently and effectively.

Moreover, once Dolly had made the final decision upon consensus with everyone involved, she followed up with additional articles highlighting the instability and resource demands of the program. While rewarding and valuable to the community, Dolly aimed to continue to support our feelings around the decision the the GALs program was not the right fit for Mercy. Decisions were not just made and people moved on; Dolly ensured follow-up reinforcing a well-made mindful decision (VT Digger Article Dolly emailed to the Team outlining the challenges and values of the program: "State’s guardian ad litem program pressured by caseloads").

Jo shared how everyone involved in the review walked away knowing the right decision was made. During our debrief on the GALs RFP outcomes, Jo and I had an engaging discussion regarding institutional mission. I asked about how Mercy can walk away from a program like GALs even if it isn't the right fit - does Mercy not ever struggle with a savior complex, "Could a program like GALs could be saved or made to embrace its full potential in the nurturing hands of Mercy?" Jo said felt Mercy continued to be such a powerful and successful organization because Mercy does well to avoid "mission creep"; they revisit their mission often and each member is well-informed and dedicated to the mission.

I had not heard that before, "mission creep." I know I will use it in the future. In my work experience, the greatest barriers to collaboration and productive conversation is failure to ensure all members of the community are aligned in their understanding of an organization's mission.

While I asked myself, "How does anything get done around here," perhaps the answer is that the consistent dedication and prioritization of the "encounter" continuously supports and fortifies each individuals full understanding and conceptualization of the Mercy Mission. When the time comes to act, everyone can work in a timely fashion and land in agreement; we all left this experience knowing the best decision for Mercy was made.

Making a Space

Yesterday, I spent my first full day at Mercy Connections. I was able to settle in and found myself surrounded in positive and supportive commentary - this time, not just from the women around me, but from every wall. Even when I was washing my hands in the bathroom, I found the walls cheering me on in my work at Mercy and in life. Everywhere someone looks or listens, there are words of support and inspiration.

So much of my learning is drawn from working in places that are almost polar opposites of each other in workplace culture and philosophy. At the corporate office environment in which I currently work full time, the walls are nearly bare - no photos, no inspirational quotes, no splashes of color; it's clinical. Our cubicles are staffed with people who are treated like machines - input:output - there's no space for the emotional or human side.

I am hyper-aware of how the stark contrast is shaping me. I found a bunch of photos in cage storage when helping my office organize and I wanted to drop everything to set up a work order and get them on the walls. Not now, the business manager said; our space is currently uncertain and we have a lot of other priorities. But I feel uplifted and full of joy as soon as my feet turn towards 255 S. Champlain; I realize how much the space as well as the people and leadership can shape a workplace. I didn't realize how much it could affect me until I experienced Mercy Connection wall-hugs and high-fives.